I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
