Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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