sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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