OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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