do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
