great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
