NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
