When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
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i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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