What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
