I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
