Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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