Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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