So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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