if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
