I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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