Define "chronic" masturbator.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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