My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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