Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
