She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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