Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
