you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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