Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
