I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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