Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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