Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
