I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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