The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
