: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
well you can't waste a boner
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
