I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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