Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it glows. i had to have it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
