You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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