I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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