apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
