walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
