Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
