I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
