My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
