Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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