he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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