He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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