is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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