Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize