you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
