I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
