I just saw a hot homeless man
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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