What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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