I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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