Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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