i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize