the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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