operation harelip BJ is a go
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
