ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
