remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
