if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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