What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
